Rethink Resources

Most programs in the U.S. focused on working with youth in the sex trade do not often work with parents of youth. Sure, some might have parents of minors involved to the extent of signing a consent form. And a few try to offer counseling and assistance to parents. Overall though, programs focus on youth.

I’ve noticed, at least in some past programs, Canada seems to approach it differently. A number of programs had active support groups for parents of youth in the sex trade and parent involvement in community efforts on the issue. Which honestly is almost unheard of in the U.S.

For myself I learned through my work running an organization by and for youth in the sex trade why I didn’t want to work with parents of youth in the sex trade. Primarily I found that the parents had sexually abused the youth in the first place and at times pimped them out when the youth were children at 4 or 5 years old and/or when the youth were teens.

Some of the parents had not actively abused the youth but explicitly tolerated or approved of it through their words and actions to youth who tried to get the abuse to stop. And lastly are the parents who, while apparently not having sexually abused the youth, emotionally and physically abused the children in their care to the point of making their home unsafe or pushing the youth out.

Now I think developing ways to work with people who are abusive are crucial. However, with limited resources, I’m focusing my energy on the youth.

Youth deserve that undivided attention because often youth leave home or get involved in the sex trade in some part because a lack of attention at home. Indeed I found that supportive parents, where the parent was trying and wasn’t abusive, were facing serious emotional and other real difficulties themselves and would take up a lot of space from the youth if you let them.

So I didn’t (mostly, sometimes the moms tried their hardest) and ruled out any parents from coming into the office/drop in space.

I wonder about some of the recommendations I’ve seen from community efforts on youth in the sex trade more recently on parents. Prevention messages urge parents to watch out for signs of involvement and assume they would never harm their own children.

Of course my take on prevention is profoundly different than most. But here’s something I think we can all agree on: Parents need to stop sexually abusing and pimping out their own children. This would lead to a dramatic decrease of youth involvement in the sex trade.

Yes, I would definitely like to see this made a priority. Too much emphasis is made on the actions and decisions of youth and not enough on the actions and decisions of adults. And parents are definitely not innocent bystanders in this reality.