Rethink Resources

We’ve all been there if you do educational groups.

You’re standing up front of a group of youth and it seems that nothing you say is getting or keeping their attention. In fact, complete silence is sometimes not the worst response. It’s when the whole group seems determined to break the sound barrier in how loud they can be and the fact that you are there to talk about anything having to do with sex is just fueling the fire.

This can be frustrating for anyone.

It’s important to consider where those groups take place. I find the most challenging places to do a workshop are mandated programs or places where youth are there involuntarily like detention centers. I’ve had exceptions to this but generally it’s difficult when youth are feeling frustrated and powerless to have an open discussion.

At one point I decided to no longer work with a juvenile probation program because the youth hated the 21 day mandated program so much they couldn’t let it go for an hour to talk about something as deep as the sex trade. I’m the type of educator who doesn’t lecture - I rely on open conversation and that wasn’t possible.

I stuck around with the detention center because enough good groups happened so it made sense. Even though the day that a discussion of bodily integrity ended with girls being strip searched because someone misplaced a pen caused me wonder. (fyi - if you didn’t know, they don’t let you have pens in juvenile detention without supervision and programs that gave out pens for writing exercises had to collect and count them before leaving, or girls would be searched)

I’ve wondered if I did more harm than good by going into programs whose staff were judgmental because if I opened up a conversation about the sex trade - would youth have someone to talk to after I left? But then sometimes I’ve felt compelled to go exactly into those programs because it felt like I didn’t say something, who would?

Sometimes youth fighting with each other or sleeping all the way through is just how that program is all the time. Sometimes it’s because the subject is just too hard and youth may not even realize how triggering it is. Sometimes it’s just a bad day and you happened to be there.

Through practice and training, we all can learn skills to bring youth back to the discussion and encourage everyone to be respectful and listen to each other. Although I’m often on my own, it’s so much better to have co-presenters for youth workshops.

I think it’s really important for programs to tell youth before the workshop why I’m there. It can be another way that adult discomfort with the subject of youth trading sex for money shows because most often the adults don’t tell youth what the group will be about that day. Sometimes I think adults are worried that the youth they hope will be there won’t come if they made it public. But it takes a while for youth to be shocked or go through any number of emotions before settling down.

I’ve gotten some of my best ideas by just rolling with a discussion. Even if a discussion seems way off topic, you can see how the youth connect the issues. You can find points to bring it back when it makes sense. Or ask the group what they think a discussion about the sex trade should look like. Planning and preparation are great but we all need to be prepared to let it go when it seems right.

I always like to check in afterwards. The ideas and reflections are fresh. You can support each other and offer ideas to try next time. If you facilitate alone, this is a great time to take a few notes and take care of yourself a little before you move on.