Rethink Resources

I’ve read some research and heard some people talk about youth having sex for designer or luxury items. I have a different perspective than most it seems on this issue. I recently had the chance to strongly present my case to someone and I thought I’d share my perspective here.

I believe strongly that youth desires for expensive or designer clothing, shoes, jewelry, electronics or whatever is way more about survival than anyone cares to admit. All homeless youth advocates are clear that youth do whatever they can to not look homeless. Youth are encouraged and intimidated into having sex for money when they look in need, like carrying all of their possessions with them.

To look in need when you’re young is to be a target.

So youth sometimes figure out ways to get more expensive items through sex or sexual stuff. And this protects them on a day to day level. They look protected, cared for, loved.

Yes, in our world today, children who get more from their parents are considered to be more cared for. Admit it, in your own life, if your parent or person closest to you pulled out all the stops on your birthday and got you something spectacular, what does that mean? It means they care about you.

So youth report that they go to school with obvious low cost or unrepaired clothing and people talk about them. So you might say, it’s peer pressure. The youth should learn to resist it and not care what other kids say.

Honestly, do you remember grade school or high school at all? Personally I went to a Catholic high school and loved the uniforms (thank you nuns). But most kids have the navigate what is more than a popularity contest. It’s a matter of who gets targeted by both adult and other youth abusers.

If you stay in the juvenile detention center and all you have to wear are the slippers they give you or the state issue gym shoes, what does that mean? It means no one came to visit you or bring you stuff or care that you are locked up. I understand deeply why youth want name brand shoes.

So maybe you have to put up with one person’s advances for the stuff but as you walk down the street, people look at you and think that’s someone who knows how to take of her or his self. And that’s more than popularity, that’s survival.

True some youth who have sex for money will put down other youth who have sex for expensive stuff. I think some of this though is about distancing themselves from other youth. “I’m not like that girl.”

And the protection and feeling of being cared for feels fake. So sometimes youth will regret it afterwards and try to separate out that experience from the more practical concerns of a place to sleep which seems easier to defend to outsiders.

But I don’t separate out youth who have sex for expensive items as opposed to having sex for inexpensive ones. It’s all swirled up.

A lot of the stuff is stolen too. It’s one of the ways that the street economy is deeply connected with the sex trade. You don’t think everyone is paying full price for all that merchandise, right?

Anyway, instead of separating out youth who have sex for expensive items, I encourage everyone to see how this affects all youth in the sex trade in how they represent themselves, how they express their identity and culture and gender expression, how they feel cared for and what that means.