Rethink Resources

For the longest time I’ve been concerned how the adult discussion of youth involved in the sex trade is so different than the way youth talk about their involvement. I’m talking here about youth who have life experience in the sex trade.

Certainly all youth have opinions and beliefs about youth in the sex trade. In classrooms and youth programs, adults have struggled to keep up with or engage in a meaningful discussion on the issue. I find that’s more about keeping up with the language, being able to make the connections in a way that makes sense to that group of youth and having real options.

But for youth who are or have been involved, you’ll find it’s a rare youth in the U.S. who describes their experience as ‘commercial sexual exploitation’. I’m concerned when caring adults who want to make a difference use terms like these. It’s an immediate barrier to meaningful connections with youth. And seriously, we don’t need any more barriers when it comes to working with youth in the sex trade.

I think words are powerful and defining our experiences is partly a social process. I’m not about erasing experiences or using words to cover up. However I know that youth (and anyone really) can be in different places in how they want to define their experiences. I can be patient enough to wait for someone to come to more of an understanding. Or at times I can acknowledge that this is their understanding, no more development is necessary for it to be real.

But most often adults think it’s completely ok to define youth experiences for them. Adults will say that youth don’t realize enough about their experiences or the world. Or that eventually they’ll come around to this way of thinking. Or that it’s a positive role for adults to shape and define youth’s ideas and experiences in controlling ways.

Let me be clear. Adults, like myself, have a crucial role to play in helping youth understand their experiences and youth want that. But that’s different than controlling the conversation in a way that makes it impossible for youth to bring their whole selves to the table (or to not even notice when youth voices aren’t at the table, but that’s a post for another time).

So when adults try to convince youth they need to call themselves prostituted youth, commercially sexual exploited youth, domestic trafficking victims or, alternatively but equally problematic, sex workers – this is a problem. You shouldn’t have to convince anyone of an identity. If the word or term works, someone will use it. Otherwise, ask yourself why a youth would be resistant to it and what would better describe their experience.

It’s critically important for youth to be a part of the decisions and efforts designed to assist youth in the sex trade. If we only welcome those youth who agree with the adult defined terms, or are willing to present themselves in adult driven meetings as such, then we really miss out.

If you look at the above picture of a mural made by youth for youth at a service learning conference, you’ll see it says “be true to yourself.” Remember that when you’re struggling with how someone else defines their experience.