Rethink Resources

Something a lot of youth have told me in groups or in conversation was that before they ever consciously had sex for money, people around them (friends, family, people in the neighborhood or school) had already labeled them as a slut, whore, bustdown*, or something similar. So, for a lot of youth, the thought sometimes went “I might as well do it, everyone already thinks I am.”

Sometimes in talking about the sex trade, we stray a bit and talk about all girls’ struggles with sexual reputations in the neighborhood or school. What people say about you or might be saying about you is a really tough thing to deal with as a teen.

For someone who has a reputation from something that actually happened, like for youth who are in drug rehab, it can be hard because family or friends don’t want to believe you’ve changed. They hold onto the label or history and don’t want to let go.

If you have a reputation for something that is just completely untrue, it’s tough because how do you even prove it? The consensus tends to be that you can’t change what people think, so it’s just important to stay true to yourself.

That’s understandable and generally good advice. But it’s really deep that youth are getting reputations for being a ‘whore’ or a ‘bustdown’ when what actually happened is that they were gang-raped at a party. That reality gets translated in the gossip of the Monday morning classroom as “she totally wanted it.”

This is a community issue that we have done very little about. The complicated ways that sexual abuse and sexual assault lead to a youth’s involvement in the sex trade is partly informed by this reality.

That youth get reputations as ‘bad girls’, ‘out of control youth’, ’sexually acting out’ or any number of the derogatory terms for having been sexually assaulted is not something we should ignore. And it holds back and harms youth who have clearly been involved in the sex trade, as the name-calling and reputation put downs are hurtful and hard to shake off.

*bustdown is a super common insult in the Midwest, it’s basically like calling someone a slut or whore. But I’ve found it’s not as common in other parts of the country. Ask youth you know for the words/terms that are common in your area.